I'm Fried... totally spent

Wow... It's been over two weeks since I posted. So much has happened, and I don't think I can convey all of the emotions that surround my experiences.

My son moved into college. He is my youngest child, so I am "officially" an empty-nester even though he lived with his dad during high school. He's in St Paul, MN and seems very happy! (One bright light to my two weeks...)

My ex-husband is arguing about money for the kids... which is ridiculous. So, I just continue to pay and pay and pay because I don't want the kids to feel bad.

All on the same day, I learned of one daughter's cancer scare, another daughter ended up in the hospital in ICU, and another daughter got incredibly angry with her dad and I. It was a VERY BAD day...

I spent a week with my 92 year old mother-in-law. She's very strong for her age, and only called me by my husband's ex-wife's name once. That's darn good for an entire week!

My work is blowing up and out of control. Period. Can't comment much other than that without going NUTS.

I'm under investigation by my company's Legal department, and the FCC. It's oh so fun trying to resurrect documents from 2004 through 2009...

I feel guilt for firing two people two weeks ago... I had to do it, but I feel so bad for them. I need to interact with them to transition their work, and to give them personal recommendations for new jobs. It's hard to talk with them.

My cat continues to crap on the floor.

I haven't stuck to my healthy living plan. Eating comfort food is good when I feel like crap and am stressed out. So, I end up disappointed with myself.

Oh well.... each of these things deserve their own post with lots of emotional outpouring. I just don't have the energy to do it. I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. I need to wake up energized to take care of my work... because I could lose my job very easily with all of the corporate restructuring. (Our CEO announced that downsizing will continue throughout 2010 and beyond.)

I'm going to take a hot bath, read a book, and fall asleep early.

Nighty Nite.

Ron Dayne shops The Pig

That's right folks... Ron Dayne, former Badger superstar and NFL player, shops at Piggly Wiggly in Waunakee.

I saw him today as I strolled down the snack aisle. Turns out this NFL free agent lives in my little town.

I made a grown man cry...

Yesterday was an AWFUL day. The word "awful" doesn't really convey how horrible the day was for my coworkers and I.

Yesterday, my business unit received the definitive word on the new downsizing effort.

I had to let half of my Wisconsin staff go. (I only have one Minnesota person, so she was retained.) I literally have 1/3 of the staff that I had 8 months ago... but more responsibility and work. I've dropped from 9 employees to 3 in WI, and inherited the whole State of MN as a new territory. Oh yeah, the company only gave me one salesperson to cover the entire state of MN!

First, I needed to inform "Whiny Boy". Even though he whines a lot, he's a good guy and a hard worker. He moved into a new job in January 2009, but before that he was always 200% of quota. He expected to be let go, but was devastated nonetheless. He has two young kids (one with a heart condition) and two mortgages. He actually broke down and CRIED... and left with a hug from me. It was horrible.

Then I had to tell "Mr. Silver Tongue", named after his gift for gab. He's 62, has colon cancer in remission, with a wife that may have a brain tumor (yet undiagnosed), and not financially able to truly retire. He just didn't believe it. I didn't know how to handle the disbelief. Mr. ST was basically IN SHOCK. He was so shocked that he walked around the office for the next 7 hours talking to everyone and anyone about it... basically asking people "why him?". He was very mad at me too.... especially when I told him "why him".

We also lost several very experienced people that support my sales team... which was unbelievable how deep the downsizing cut.

Then I told the remaining two in WI and one in MN.... the remaining staff was shell-shocked. Others within the company contacted me and "the remainders" all day with "why Mr ST?". My remaining employees felt bad, as if they were survivors that didn't deserve to live. I had to justify my decision... ALL. DAY. LONG. Albeit, Mr ST does sell a lot, continually exceeds his quota, but isn't interested in learning the new technology that we sell. Still, he is beloved and everyone in Wisconsin (customers included) will miss him.

My job was saved. I wonder why I was lucky enough to keep my job. If it was my decision, I would have been downsized. I just don't have enough direct reports left to justify my managerial position. Even some of my employees feel that they aren't worthy of keeping their jobs.

Today we tried to rebuild the team. It was surreal... sad but honest in what we are tasked to do. And I talked with many nervous and concerned customers.

AWFUL.
HORRIBLE.
EVERYONE IS HURTING.

I know I am paid to do a particular job, but I don't have to like it.

My heart hurts for the ones that lost their jobs this week.

Creepy Crawlies

I found THESE on my roses and flowering tree.... and my head was waaay too close to the leaves when I discovered them crawling all over! (I have a phobia about bugs being in my hair.)

Meet the Japanese Beetle.... very destructive and very hard to kill or control. The devour the leaves on many different plants. And to make matters worse, their larve grow under your lawn and kill it.

I want them DEAD.

Hmm, unless we can round them all up and send them back to Japan...

When it rains it pours...

Happy Monday everyone. (she says sarcastically...) It's anything but happy for me.

First thing this morning, I find out my company is being investigated by the FCC... this time focused on my area. So I have a heavy subpoena to comply with that will basically make me kill several trees just to prove my team did nothing wrong, and complied with every rule. What a hassle and waste of time...

Then, the company announced there will be job cuts in my business unit... to the tune of 10-20%. But the good news is that those that will lose their jobs, will lose them quickly... by early August. (That's next week people.) Yippee. I'll either lose my job, have to fire some folks, or both. Yuck Yuck YUCK

There are many great things about working for a large company... decent benefits, lots of opportunity for transfers, job security (usually). But when it comes to "force reduction", or job cuts, you become a number to someone at corporate headquarters. They merely see the financial impact of how many employees "should" be cut to save enough expenses to meet Wall Street's expectations by year-end. (But on the bright side, maybe my stock will go up in price.. :)

I've survived a few downsizings in the past, but this time I'm VERY much at risk. Small declining customer base, stagnant sales results, declining number of employees, and a new boss that doesn't really know me or my capabilities yet. Cross your fingers for me!!

BTW, did I say I'm having a bad day?? Cuz I am. And I'm whining about it. I'd say I'm sorry for wasting your time, but no one is forcing you to read this... and I needed to get this off my chest.

I'm Terrific!!!

Someone sent me a card that told me so! :) I'm doing my Happy Happy Joy Joy dance. (And if you don't know what that is, you obviously didn't watch Ren and Stimpy.)

I'm just darn glad I didn't receive a fuzzy baby animal card... those suckers convey bad news.

Surprise from my I-Phone

I work for AT&T. I see the marketing ads that we publish to make folks want the I-phone. It's corporate advertising-- I understand why we need to please Wall Street.

Well, today my car was in the shop for a brake job, wheel alignment, rebalancing of the tires, and an oil change.

When I got to the shop, they were not quite finished and I had to wait another 10 minutes for the car to be done. As I waited, I checked my personal email on my I-phone. While in the waiting room, I received an email from Zimbrick (my car repair shop) reminding me that my vehicle was due for maintenance... and it had several coupons attached.

I chuckled.... And went to the service manager, whose name was on the email.
Did he know the company was sending these emails? (No...)
Did he honor all of the coupons I received that afternoon while in the waiting room? (Yes!!!)

Boo Yah!
I saved over $60 bucks because I was able to check my email while killing time at the car repair shop!!!