I'm Fried... totally spent

Wow... It's been over two weeks since I posted. So much has happened, and I don't think I can convey all of the emotions that surround my experiences.

My son moved into college. He is my youngest child, so I am "officially" an empty-nester even though he lived with his dad during high school. He's in St Paul, MN and seems very happy! (One bright light to my two weeks...)

My ex-husband is arguing about money for the kids... which is ridiculous. So, I just continue to pay and pay and pay because I don't want the kids to feel bad.

All on the same day, I learned of one daughter's cancer scare, another daughter ended up in the hospital in ICU, and another daughter got incredibly angry with her dad and I. It was a VERY BAD day...

I spent a week with my 92 year old mother-in-law. She's very strong for her age, and only called me by my husband's ex-wife's name once. That's darn good for an entire week!

My work is blowing up and out of control. Period. Can't comment much other than that without going NUTS.

I'm under investigation by my company's Legal department, and the FCC. It's oh so fun trying to resurrect documents from 2004 through 2009...

I feel guilt for firing two people two weeks ago... I had to do it, but I feel so bad for them. I need to interact with them to transition their work, and to give them personal recommendations for new jobs. It's hard to talk with them.

My cat continues to crap on the floor.

I haven't stuck to my healthy living plan. Eating comfort food is good when I feel like crap and am stressed out. So, I end up disappointed with myself.

Oh well.... each of these things deserve their own post with lots of emotional outpouring. I just don't have the energy to do it. I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. I need to wake up energized to take care of my work... because I could lose my job very easily with all of the corporate restructuring. (Our CEO announced that downsizing will continue throughout 2010 and beyond.)

I'm going to take a hot bath, read a book, and fall asleep early.

Nighty Nite.

Big Sister

I’m very impressed with Natalie’s attentiveness to her siblings. She is a WONDERFUL sister. I probably don’t tell her this enough. Last week, I was listening to stories of things that Natalie has done recently for her siblings. It made me think. She is always there for any of her younger sisters or brother when they need her, or when she thinks they will appreciate her involvement in their lives. (Natalie – You are amazing.) It made me think about my life and realize that MY big sister always played a similar role in my family. Although, I’m sure my big Sis, Sue, never got the appreciation she deserved.

So here’s to MY "Big Sis", Sue:

You were a pain to live with at times, but so was I. That's because we were so different as teenagers, but we’re really not that different at the core of who we are now.

I watched you lead the way in family matters and gaining independence. I learned from your mistakes and thank you for the path you paved for us younger sibs when we still lived with our parents. (Heck, you even helped me when I got my first period because we were visiting our father!!)

I looked up to you as you left the house, got married, and started your family. You taught me a lot – from cooking, coping with life issues, the joys of simple things, and how to fix a good Bloody Mary. You even taught me that toddlers can “gum their chicken to death” before they have grown teeth!

When I decided to quit college and get married, you were the ONE person in the family to support me. You agreed to be in the wedding and let me stay with you before the big day. (BTW, I’m SO SORRY that you weren’t the Matron of Honor. I was stupid.)

You were also the one that kept the family connected. You called everyone weekly. You organized cookouts and family get togethers. You were always interested in your siblings’ lives and took an interest in your nieces and nephews. There were times when you just “kidnapped” my kids for a couple of days to play and bake cookies. Ash and Adam still talk about these trips.

You were our dad’s caretaker. No question about it. When the inevitable occurred and our dad entered long-term care, you picked the best facility and checked on him DAILY. Because my kids were very young at the time, your caretaking was SUCH A HUGE help and brought me and our brother peace of mind.

Then you went away to CA, and I miss you. I’ve done a poor job of maintaining regular conversations with you, and I’m just realizing how much I’ve lost. You are always kind, giving, caring and selfless. Additionally, you have a great sense of humor, cooking skills, intelligence, and optimism. I’m sorry I missed out on enjoying more of your life in the past few years, but I want to change all of that.

My Big Sis is coming to WI this week. I can’t wait to see you! I realize that you want to see many family members and old friends, but I hope to make it a “vacation” for you, Dre and Christina. I miss you Sis!!! Can’t wait to see ya!

Happy Birthday Cassie!

In my new tradition of blogging, I want to wish my wonderful daughter a Happy Birthday. I didn't post yesterday (on her actual birthday) because I felt my post was so bland compared to her sister's! Well, we all know QG has a way with words that I can only hope to achieve some day. :)

Happy Birthday Cassie! I love you!!!

Congratulations Adam!

I'm smiling ear to ear. It's so wonderful to see (or hear) your children happy!

Adam received his acceptance letter from Macalester College today. It was his first choice of school, and he was worried about whether he would get accepted. The college is located in St. Paul, MN and is a small liberal arts college with under 2000 students. Strong academics, politically active, very liberal, with a diverse student population. Surprisingly, 13% of their students are international and they pull kids from all over the country (not just the midwest). http://www.macalester.edu/

Congrats Adam! I'm very happy for you!

BTW, just what is a Macalester Scot? It's an odd sort of mascot name... ;)