Thursday, June 4, 2009

Fighting in my sleep

I'm so glad my husband was traveling and I slept alone last night. I dreamt about being chased and attacked. At one point, my "attacker" was holding my head with his arm outstretched. I flailed my arms trying to hit him, but couldn't reach him. (You know - kinda like a big kid taunting a little one. :) I ended up kicking him HARD. And woke up kicking and hitting the air. Twice last night, I woke up punching or kicking as hard as I can. I can't tell you why I had these dreams. Weird stuff.... I'm just glad my husband wasn't here to accidently become my punching bag!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Big Sister

I’m very impressed with Natalie’s attentiveness to her siblings. She is a WONDERFUL sister. I probably don’t tell her this enough. Last week, I was listening to stories of things that Natalie has done recently for her siblings. It made me think. She is always there for any of her younger sisters or brother when they need her, or when she thinks they will appreciate her involvement in their lives. (Natalie – You are amazing.) It made me think about my life and realize that MY big sister always played a similar role in my family. Although, I’m sure my big Sis, Sue, never got the appreciation she deserved.

So here’s to MY "Big Sis", Sue:

You were a pain to live with at times, but so was I. That's because we were so different as teenagers, but we’re really not that different at the core of who we are now.

I watched you lead the way in family matters and gaining independence. I learned from your mistakes and thank you for the path you paved for us younger sibs when we still lived with our parents. (Heck, you even helped me when I got my first period because we were visiting our father!!)

I looked up to you as you left the house, got married, and started your family. You taught me a lot – from cooking, coping with life issues, the joys of simple things, and how to fix a good Bloody Mary. You even taught me that toddlers can “gum their chicken to death” before they have grown teeth!

When I decided to quit college and get married, you were the ONE person in the family to support me. You agreed to be in the wedding and let me stay with you before the big day. (BTW, I’m SO SORRY that you weren’t the Matron of Honor. I was stupid.)

You were also the one that kept the family connected. You called everyone weekly. You organized cookouts and family get togethers. You were always interested in your siblings’ lives and took an interest in your nieces and nephews. There were times when you just “kidnapped” my kids for a couple of days to play and bake cookies. Ash and Adam still talk about these trips.

You were our dad’s caretaker. No question about it. When the inevitable occurred and our dad entered long-term care, you picked the best facility and checked on him DAILY. Because my kids were very young at the time, your caretaking was SUCH A HUGE help and brought me and our brother peace of mind.

Then you went away to CA, and I miss you. I’ve done a poor job of maintaining regular conversations with you, and I’m just realizing how much I’ve lost. You are always kind, giving, caring and selfless. Additionally, you have a great sense of humor, cooking skills, intelligence, and optimism. I’m sorry I missed out on enjoying more of your life in the past few years, but I want to change all of that.

My Big Sis is coming to WI this week. I can’t wait to see you! I realize that you want to see many family members and old friends, but I hope to make it a “vacation” for you, Dre and Christina. I miss you Sis!!! Can’t wait to see ya!